Many of you know that I idolize Glennon Doyle Melton from Momastery. One of my favorite posts of hers is titled The One Letter to Read Before Sending Your Child to School. After reading it and re-reading it, I decided to take her up on her offer to modify to share with my own child. Here it is. I wish someone read me this or told me this regularly when I was a kid. I'm thinking of wall papering his room with it. Subtle huh? Good luck with the back to school hustle everyone. Remember: we can do hard things. XOXOXO, R
Rowen,
This has been a big week – your first week of Kindergarten –
WOW!! Seeing you trudge up the hill, line up with all of your classmates, hold
the sign for Ms. O’Leary’s class & file in to your classroom fills me with
so much pride and wonder at the awesome boy that you’ve become.
When I was in Kindergarten there was a boy named Anthony. He
looked a little different and talked a little bit different. He never played
with the other kids or talked in class. He got teased a lot. I would eat lunch
with him and when I did the kids teased me too and that made me sad and not
want to sit with Anthony or ask him to play. I still think about Anthony. I
wonder if he remembers me. Probably not.
I think that people come into our lives as lessons to us and
as gifts to us. The kids in your class this year – they are your lessons and
your gifts. The fun ones, the mean ones, the shy ones and the crazy ones. So
treat each one of them like a lesson and a gift. Every single one.
If you see a child being left out, hurt or teased, your
heart will hurt a little. Trust that heart-ache. Listen to that your entire
life. That heart-ache is called compassion and it’s a signal for you to do something!
It’s a voice that says – Rowen, wake up – someone is hurting! Do something to
help!
Compassion might make you step in and do something right
away like ask the teased kid to play or invite them to have lunch with you.
This may be hard to do but you can do
hard things. You might not be able to or want to step in right away and
that’s ok too. Maybe you’ll tell your teacher or tell us – we’re all on your
team – we’re on your whole class’ team. Asking for help for you or for others
is always the right thing to do if someone is hurting. If someone is hurting,
tell me and we will make a plan together.
Dad and I don’t care if anyone else thinks you're the smartest or coolest or
funniest ( we always will, regardless). There will be lots of contests at school and you won’t win them all
and that’s ok! We don’t care if you get straight A’s, if the girls think you’re
cute or whether you’re good at sports. We don’t care if you are your teachers’
favorite or not. We don’t care if you have the best clothes or flattest hair or
an Xbox 360. We love you just the way you are and that’s that!
We don’t send you to school to become the best at anything at
all. We already love you as much as we possibly could. You do not have to earn
our love or pride and you can’t lose it. That’s done.
We send you to school to practice being brave and kind. Kind
people are brave people. Because brave is not a feeling that you should wait
for. It’s a decision. It’s a decision that compassion is more important than
fitting in, than following the crowd. Trust me love, it’s much more important.
Don’t try to be THE best this year honey, try to be YOUR
best and that’s a Rowen that is grateful and brave and kind. Take care of your
classmates and of your teacher too. You belong to each other. You are one lucky
boy to have all of these gifts and they’re lucky to have you too!
I love you more than I could ever express. Thank you for
being the best gift I’ve ever received. Mamma
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